Video Game CEOs Optimistic They Can Ruin Everything by Q3 2024

Following another wave of industry-wide layoffs that have already reached 60% of 2023’s entire tally, a conglomerate of video game CEOs held a press conference earlier this morning, assuring the crowd they’d be able to “bring this whole fucking thing down by July.”

“We’d like to thank the members of the media that somehow still have jobs for being here today,” said CEO of Microsoft Gaming Phil Spencer, three months after their merger with Activision Blizzard was approved.