Welcome to Skitching the Elephant!
Hey everybody, I’ve got a new project. A newsletter, website, blog thing. I’m calling it Skitching the Elephant, and I’m so excited to launch it today. If you happened to read the stuff I did at Hard Drive (the video game satire site I co-founded and served as head writer on until last year), it’s going to be a bunch more of that.
If you didn’t, well, it’s going to be comedic bullshit about video games.
You can expect things like deep dives, satire, essays, rankings, a fixation on movie-licensed games from the 1990s, and I guess whatever else I decide constitutes a good Skitching the Elephant post. I’m so stoked to have my own weird little thing that I can be in full control of, and I’m so happy to get it out in the world.
You know that thing that happened maybe 10 or 15 years ago? The first time you were on the phone trying to pay some bill and a vaguely human voice said something generic, like, “Please wait one moment,” and you thought, “I don’t even know if this is a human I’m talking to.”
Do you remember that?
I’m starting to get that feeling on the internet, and it sucks. Bland, lifeless shit everywhere, either cranked out by an AI or an underpaid writer on a deadline.
It sucks, and I’m not pretending to have the answers. I just want to carve out a small little corner of the internet to put up some funny stuff that’s not bogged down by terrible ads and is not content generated by a computer. So that’s what we’re doing here.
Are you wondering at all about what ‘Skitching the Elephant’ means? I got the name from a level in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4. Skitching an elephant is where you hang on to the tail of an elephant while you skateboard and ride around that way.
There’s no way it’s a thing for real, right? You’re off your rocker for that one, Tony. I played it for the first time and wrote about it in one of three pieces I published today.
Anyway, I like that it’s an absurd thing from a Tony Hawk game, and I love the artwork my wife Taylor came up with. Of all the things I like about this name, my favorite part is imagining someone insulting my new project and having to say “Skitching the Elephant” out loud to do it.
“I guess he’s got some dumb new blog he started called Skitching the Elephant.”
Now who sounds stupid, pal?
(It’s me, the guy zinging people he just made up. Please don’t leave.)
My Elephant Website has two tiers: a free one that will give you access to a new post every Tuesday, and a paid one that will give you access to a bonus post on Friday, plus whatever else I upload that week. They’ll show up in your email, or you can visit the website. Five bucks a month. Straight up. I’m like Fugazi.
For the record, I don’t feel entitled to anyone’s money at all. It’s just that after working for so long on different projects that were available for free, I thought I’d put a cup out this time around and see what happened. No pressure if you don’t subscribe. I fully understand, and hope that you’ll still sub for free — and maybe you could even share this or tell someone about it. That’s also free.
So there you have it. I’m launching today with the aforementioned THPS4 piece and some daydreaming about PowerWash Simulator, one of the greatest games I’ve ever played. Tomorrow, I’ll post a new perspective on the Grand Theft Auto series. Then on Friday, paid subscribers will get a deep dive on the video game adaptations of Tim Burton films.
I’m already working on stuff for next week, and I’m so excited about this new website-blog-newsletter type deal I’ve got here. Thanks for reading!